I just read this great article
How to be a perfect parent in 5 easy steps… Or never
Not only was it hilarious, but it inspired me to write something that has been on my mind, and being talked about in my parenting momma circles. That’s being a “good” parent.
Spoiler alert: there is no such thing. At best there are some general (vague) guidelines we learn from our society. Like don’t let your kid run around a pool – guess what I do that.
In my insomnia and feverish moments today I got to think, (yeah what mom has time for that?). Thanks to my husband who is a great partner in this parenting game.
So I confessed to a friend that I don’t think I’m a good parent, (but couldn’t finish my thought at the time so here it is) nor do I think I’m a bad one. I’m a parent taking it moment by moment, trying to be happy, or at least find myself there eventually, usually after walking away from a screaming kid to take a breath.
I am the parent who values sleep, especially when my kids sleep. And I have tried it all, every day something else works. Many call me an attachment parent and u know what? I’ve come to dislike (ok I’m being polite I hate it) that term. I feed my children GASP non- organic food, and have at many times abandoned the term vegan (did u know I hate labels). I did the cloth diapering thing, and organic disposables, my 2nd child now wears target brand diapers. I don’t want a screaming kid on my hands, so if he has that pizza with his cousins, or takes a few McDonald’s fries from his friend, so what? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things. No! All your children want is what is joyful to them, so let them be joyful, even if it means your wall gets some abstract art (and not on paper). If you had a stressful day weaning your 16 month old because your feeling like your going to mentally go insane, and your 5 year old has a screaming fit, and u haven’t slept in days taking care of the sick 5 year old who got you sick, and you happen to temporarily lose it and yell, it’s ok.
So what am I saying? Be who you are!
if you really want to take your kids for a bike ride without helmets the 2 blocks to school, do it, have u seen the norm in other countries? If you feel you need to keep your child backwards in a carseat until they start grade school – hooray for you.
That person who is trying to give you advice, you know that friend w no kids, the grandma in the supermarket, your child’s teacher who looks to have it all together (you know she doesn’t right?) They all doubt themselves. So take what you want from it. Pave your own path. Be the best you can be according to your standard, and if u can’t do that it’s ok.
And you know what? You will be ok, your kids will be ok! The planet will be ok!
So no I don’t strive to be a good-bad parent. I strive to be a happy one.
Parenthood is a crazy ride, just trying to enjoy it when I can.